The Witching Hour

One of the things they don't tell you about when you become a new parent (I'm finding an increasing number of these things popping up in the last few weeks) is the Witching Hour. I take offense to the name by the way, or should I be able to handle this situation better? This so-called "Witching Hour" is basically a period of an hour or more where your baby will just cry as if they are hurt and there isn't much you can do about it.

Aengus's hits sometime between 3-5pm or so and goes until 6-7pm, unless you can trap him with a nap beforehand. Most of the time, Will conquers the Witching Hour with the Moby wrap and a trip outside. Aengus cannot resist the snuggle. I, however, tend to use what my son considers my greatest assets: the breasts--I basically keep him eating until he lulls off to sleep.

Today, I was not so lucky. And, I was foolish enough to try to take him with me to the lab for some research. (Naive, I know.) He was not pleased. I left after I couldn't console him with bouncing, the Moby, or even the breast. The fussiness continued until just before 6, when he finally settled after eating for an hour and a half and I was able to put him next to me on the couch for a nap.

The Arrival

I've been MIA for a while because the kid arrived! So, first, I'll share our story:

4 weeks old

On Valentine's day, I started having contractions at 9am. Will had gone to work early that morning, so I kept it to myself. I told Will at noon and he came home at 2pm. The contractions were irregular, but pretty strong and went all day. Finally at about 9pm (yep that's 12 hours) they were very strong and lasting 1-2 minutes, 3-5 mins apart. Kept going that way and we called the midwife at 11. She got here before midnight and checked me, but I wasn't really dilating yet. Meanwhile, the baby still hadn't dropped. I was so exhausted. She suggested taking a bath (I did) and trying to sleep. She thought it would be a few hours and I would be going strong. I slept poorly from 1-3 and woke up completely disheartened. I was exhausted, but the contractions were lessening. Labor stalled out at around 4 and I slept until 7. Completely gone. I had labored for 15 or so hours and it just went away. I was so upset.

On February 18, I woke up at 3am to use the bathroom and said "either I just peed myself or my water broke". Well, I was pretty sure it was the water, but I knew I needed sleep, so Will and I went back to bed....and stared at the ceiling. We finally got back to sleep by 6 or so and Will called into work. We were so excited, but I wasn't really having any contractions. At 9 I called my midwife and was only having random irregular contractions despite little gushes of fluid throughout the day, so she told me to maybe go on a walk to get things started. I stalled and stalled all day, so she came over to check the baby and me. Everything was good, and she wasn't really convinced my water had broken. She said it could still be urine due to the pressure on my bladder, but that she still thought it would be tonight. Meanwhile, the baby was perfectly poised and ready to come out-in the best position he had been in all 3rd trimester.

By 5:30pm I was having regular strong contractions every 5 minutes. They kept getting stronger, longer, closer together--you know the drill. Bouncing on the birth ball was awesome at this point. I was still feeling really upbeat and coping well. I called the midwife and asked her to come around 9 or 10. At that point, I was at 6cm and had a bulging bag of water! So...no water before? Well, contractions continued about 2 mins apart all night. I took a bath to relax at 4am and slept between contractions.

Fetal heart tone check

Will, the midwife apprentice, and I went on a walk at 5am to hopefully get things going more. After that didn't do much, I asked her to check me again and we talked about maybe breaking the water bag if it looked favorable. I was at 7cm at 6:30am (and 13 hours or so) and the water bag was still bulgy. I said, just go ahead--I want my baby. The bag was so thick, the amnio hook just about couldn't get it open--no wonder I wasn't really getting anywhere!! Water broke and the pressure was relieved and it felt amazing until transition hit me like a freight train. It was really rough, but my labor support was amazing. Will was my rock-and the midwives (the apprentice also works as a doula and was amazing) were so wonderful.

By 7:30 I was pushing and it felt great. On all fours, the toilet, etc. The birth stool that I thought I wanted felt terrible and I still can't understand why I didn't like it. After 1 or so hours of pushing, I was getting so exhausted, they suggested I lie back on the bed and pull my legs back as I push--finally, some progress! I could see the top of his head peek out with a mirror and it was unbelievable. But, his head was having a terrible time getting out. My midwife was trying to help him along by doing some technique stretching around his head with his fingers and I really thought she was going to kill me. It hurt terribly, but I just kept pushing. They pulled my bottom off the bed after almost 3 hours, and that allowed just enough extra room to help things along better.

Suddenly, during a hard push I felt relief and they said "his head is out!". I immediately pushed again as hard as possible and his little body shot right out. His cord was short, but they put him on my belly so it wouldn't stretch too far. He had other plans. He started crawling up to my chest immediately, and raised is head up and looked over at Will. I cannot describe the feeling of seeing his face for the first time. He was really here-and he was beautiful!

Just born

Aengus Cade was born at 10:26am on February 19, 2010. He was 6lb 13oz and 19.5in at birth. He immediately started nursing perfectly and had already gained a pound by his 2 week appointment.

38 weeks, 3 days

We're hitting a standstill here in terms of labor progression. I slept really well last night, and didn't really have any contractions, so I feel bittersweet about that. A full night's rest was great. After waking up, I had some back and lower abdominal discomfort off and on for a few hours, but nothing really came of it. Even the long walk I took with Baxter seemed to only generate a few small contractions. However, the baby does feel lower than ever. He's been squirming around and kicking me as if to say, "ha, I'll come when I'm good and ready". Maybe tomorrow will have more progress.

So now it's just the waiting...

38 weeks, 2 days

I feel like I'm getting close. Last night, I had backaches and contractions all through the night. Will said I moaned and groaned all night, but I don't really remember that. He did rub my back when I had trouble falling asleep after waking up. The baby feels very very low, so I think he's dropping into the zone.

I took Baxter on another long walk this afternoon and did some curb walking. Drank 2 cups of the Red Raspberry leaf tea with nettles and black cohosh. I had contractions from 4:30-7ish every 3-20 minutes. They got very strong by the end, but also farther apart. By nine, they'd fizzled out, but my back still hurts. The acid reflux is also killer.

Hopefully, these are signs that I only need to wait a few more days. (Or maybe hours? Hours would be great!) I'm ready to meet this kid.

38 weeks, 1 day

It's the final countdown....

I figured I should keep track of the days leading up for progeny's sake, or at least to allow myself some pretense of progress.

We woke up late today (seeing as it was Saturday) and had lunch at a mexican restaurant. After Will left for work at 3, I took Baxter on a long walk around the upcoming 'burbs being built behind our street. Sadly, that did not cause any contractions, but I did come home with a side stitch. Around 6 or so, I had a couple of contractions about 15 minutes apart, along with more crampy feelings for half an hour. I also had lower back pain for a few hours. I'm hoping something is going on with the kid--maybe he'll visit the outside world soon.

The Meaning of Life

As I approach birth, I look on this video from Monty Python with fondness. Oh, maternity care decades ago...

And now for something completely different!

Or maybe not? Earlier this week, the Today Show aired a cesarean section live on national television. The reason given by the performing surgeon was macrosomia (aka big baby). Now, I am not one to criticize anyone's birth choices, as mine are pretty far outside the norm (for the US, at least) and I won't criticize hers. I will, however, express doubts in the wisdom of a surgeon who works at a hospital with a 42% cesarean rate. (The World Health Organization states that no region of the world is justified in having a cesarean rate over 10-15%.)

I find it hard to believe that women in the United have truly had time in the last few decades to evolve "too small" pelvises to deliver "too big" babies. True cephalopelvic disproportion is not able to be diagnosed before a woman labors. (See ICAN's explanation of Absolute vs. Relative CPD.)

Here are some responses around the internet birth community:

Amy Romano at Science and Sensibility commented to the CEO of the performing hospital.

ICAN's response to NBC.

Body Image

As the paper-thin skin of my belly stretches well beyond what I believed to be capacity, stretch marks zigzagging like purple roots under my belly button, I can't help but think about body image. Though weighing more than I have in my life, and knowing that I now have life-long markers of "mom", for some reason I don't seem as bothered by it as I was when growing in girth before I was pregnant. Maybe it's just the fact that I have so many other pregnancy-related ailments to complain about that I don't have time to worry about my itchy belly. Or, I could be idealistic and claim that I'm so filled with the glow of growing a life that I can't be bothered with such trite sentiments as vanity. (Though I doubt this is true. So far, I have had trouble getting that cloud nine baby-drunk feeling that so many women get while pregnant.)

So, when I came across an article about very thin models in Sao Paulo for fashion week, I paused with a sigh. Why, in 2010, are we as women doing this to ourselves?

Models changing backstage during Sao Paulo fashion week via NYmag

What was worse for me, is that I was not shocked or surprised at the skeletal-thinness of these women. But, I should be. We all should be. Is this the ideal form we want to convey to each other: how are we supposed to live up to this expectation of beauty? I, for one, say forget it, and move on. But, when I was 13, similar images had a much different effect on my body image. Is this what we want for our daughters? No.

It makes me glad that I am growing a son. He will be born into a privilege that I, and other women, do not have. Sure, he will face his own set of battles, his own set of body image issues. But, had he been female, I do not know what I would have attempted to say when seeing an image of paper doll fashion models. What would I have said when she walked up to me at age 5 and said, "Am I too fat, Mommy?". How do you answer more than "no"? By the time they ask, they've already been influenced more than we know.